Wonderful Definitions

1) CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

2) MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.

3) LECTURE:
An art of transmitting information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either.

4) CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

5) COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

6) TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water-power!

7) CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

8) ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

9) CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read.

10) SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

11) OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

12) YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouths.

13) EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their mistakes.

14) DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

15) OPTIMIST:
A person who, while falling from EIFFEL TOWER, says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

16) MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!

17) FATHER:
A banker provided by nature.

18) BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

19) POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence later.

20) DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills!