from Ah-Sun: National Pride

This is Malaysia - and you should know

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:
Ajinomoto

NATIONAL INSTANT FOOD:
Maggi Mee

NATIONAL BREAKFAST:
Nasi Lemak

NATIONAL LUNCH:
Nasi Ayam

NATIONAL SUPPER:
Roti Canai & Teh Tarik

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:
Traffic Jam

NATIONAL CONDOM:
None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms. So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.

NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION:
Pineapple

NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:
Stout. Many Malaysian men swear by it. But then after a few pints they start swearing at everything.. .

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):
Food Poisoning

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):
Menstrual Pain

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early appointment, food not digested yet, aircond not cold enough, air-cond too cold, nail polish not dry yet, forgot to take the pill, sleepy, stomach cramps, period, haven ' t remove make-up, haven ' t shower, no water supply, going to watch "Santa Barbara ", depressed, no mood, etc...

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
None. Malaysian men never refuse sex.

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIARRHOEA :
Cap Kaki Tiga. Down one bottle with warm water and you are all "dried up".

NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:
Panadol. The "cure for all". If it fails we have another secret weapon - Tiger Balm.

NATIONAL CURE FOR NAUSEA :
Moh Fah Kor.

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.

NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
Happy Hours.

NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
The sight of a police road block.

NATIONAL RICE COOKER :
NATIONAL Rice Cooker

NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:
Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.

NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:
Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4!

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING NICE:
Running For UMNO

NATIONAL ANSWER FOR "WHERE ARE YOU"?:
-on the way.

NATIONAL OFFICIAL TIME FOR BEING LATE:
-10 minutes

NATIONAL REASON FOR PRICE INCREASE:
Petrol naik lagi kawan... semua barang pun kena naik ler... inclusive of chicken meat? :)

NATIONAL REASON FOR PETROL INCREASE:
Still cheaper than other country la....

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR CAUSING TRAFFIC JAM:
there was accident on the other side of the road.. of course must slow down and tengok-tengok, kaypoh-kaypoh lah!

NATIONAL REASON WHEN REJECTING INVITATION :
'I got some work to do la..u all go first la..'

NATIONAL REASON FOR COLLAPSED BUILDINGS & LEAKY PARLIAMENT ROOFS:
An act of God. Definitely nothing to with greased palms and poor quality control. Nope, none whatsoever.

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR IRRESPONSIBLE POLITICAL STATEMENTS:
None. We were misquoted.

NATIONAL MINISTERIAL REASON FOR INCREASING TOLL RATES:
Orang cakap mau naik mesti mau naik lah! Lu ingat ini jalan saya punya bapak punya kah?!

NATIONAL REASON FOR HAVING BIG ONION DOMES ON TAXPAYER-FUNDED PUBLIC BUILDINGS:
....dunno. (It's not as if we're anywhere near the middle east.)

NATIONAL REASON FOR SPURNING BAILOUT PACKAGES FROM FOREIGN CAR COMPANIES:
We're about to unveil another badly designed low budget car, which, coupled with our notorious customer service and corporate mismanagement, will see us bankrupt again within the next 5 years. And so we have absolutely no need for the Germans and their silly car-making and market-positioning knowhow, thank you very much.

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR JUMPING QUEUE (TRAFFIC JAM OR WHAT EVER QUEUE):
..... everybody doing what lah............

NATIONAL EXCUSE NOT PAYING SAMAN ACCORDING TO DUE DATE:
Relax ler... government will give discount one of these days

NATIONAL EXCUSE TO BRIBE (ANY CONDITION):
........ give them minum kopi lar......