A Story to live by

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was alwaysthere for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only seethe world, I will marry you.'
One day,someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandagescame off, she was able to see everything, including herboyfriend..
He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' Thegirl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. Thesight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expectedthat. The thought of looking at them the rest of her lifeled her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to hersaying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for beforethey were yours, they were mine.'

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Moral of the story : This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.Only a very few remember what life was like before, and whowas always by their side in the most painful situations.

Mathematics of Men and Women

ROMANCE MATH
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

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SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

Creative Customer for KFC

Have you ever think of this after having a meal in KFC?

Salak South Toll - to be demolished

[News taken from Sin Chew Daily 24 Feb 2009

（吉隆坡）《星洲日報》探悉，工程部長拿督斯里莫哈末再因將在週二（2月24日）宣佈拆除吉隆坡新街場大道（BESRAYA）位於沙叻秀來回方向的沙叻再也收費站。這是工程部繼2月13日宣佈廢除新班底大道位於PJU2往吉隆坡方向的收費站後，巴生河流域第2個被當局宣佈廢除的收費站。.....]

Another toll to be demolished and stop collection. This is good news to all drivers that using that route daily.

Lawyers... oh! Lawyers

These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts", and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
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ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?'
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ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
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ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Is this a trick question?
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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
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ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
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And the > best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes,it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

"FAIR"!!

MACC always been fair

Written by zen
Monday, 23 February 2009 00:09
Datuk Seri Ahmad Said Hamdan, the chief commissioner of the MACC (Malaysian Anti Corruption Commission) has slammed the Pakatan Rakyat for claiming that the agency is practicing double standards. He said "This is normal of them. When the spotlight is on their leaders, they will stop at nothing to accuse us of double standards, selective prosecution and so onTo them, whatever we do or say is always not right," said a senior official who did not want to be named.” Another MACC official supported the opinion saying that “We have always been fair. Although this can affect the government's image, a lot of government officers, including senior police officers and ministers, have been arrested and charged with bribery. He was merely answering their questions. Since becoming the ACA director-general in 2007, the media-friendly Datuk Seri (Ahmad Said) has never failed to answer all questions posed by reporters, regardless of the sensitivity of cases. We do not pick and choose. Whoever commits corruption, we will come in, regardless of political parties or affiliations." -Zen, MalaysiaToday

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Moral : not all government department work very slow one... sometimes they "are" really perform....right??